Does sex on-the-side give you the much needed kick? Let's explore... 
Aanchal Mehra, a management student agrees, "It's not about being promiscuous, but having sex with a stranger can actually lift your mood. It happened with me once when I was going through a very low phase. I went to a friend's party and hooked up with this guy. We had a blast that night and the next day we parted as friends. I felt desirable and wanted once again, and frankly I felt very happy."
The trend is recent and something that picks up from the frantic pace of urban living. Often hectic schedules and lack of socialising leaves one feeling adrift and sidelined. Thus people draw support in whichever form they can or so observes, psychologist Surendra Mehta, Care clinic, "Casual sex is on the rise because of factors like loneliness, peer pressure, living away from one's home. It happens when there's no faith left in oneself. Think of someone who doesn't have a great job or a fulfilling relationship or lacks friends to bail him/her out in times of crisis. It is then that they fall on measures that they assume can lift their spirits for some time. Sex is more like an addiction just as people tend to eat a lot when depressed."
Women don't get carried away
Hollywood too swears by the benefits of casual sexual encounters. Leading actress Cameron Diazfor instance recently stated that there isn't a better way to get back in shape than hitting the sack. Studies too have revealed that women are less likely to regret an impromptu fling, if they feel gratified sexually afterwards. Most women don't equate a romp in the sack with a walk down the aisle. Surveys reveal that over 52 per cent believe their most recent casual encounter to be 'just a one-time thing'.
Says actor/anchor Pooja Bedi, "Having sex with someone you don't love doesn't necessarily mean you are committing a grave sin. The best part of today's society is that it is beginning to accept female sexuality. People have various things to lift their spirits, this is one of them, so be it, and it's human after all to crave for touch. And women, just like men want to enjoy their bodies. So there isn't anything wrong in indulging in casual sex as long as you know where to draw the line."
Manish Singh, a software professional, points out, "I think the key is that everyone wants to matter, especially to their sex partners. We have created a world in which we treat sex as a private recreational activity, with no moral or social significance. But when sex is a recreational activity, my partner becomes equivalent to a consumer good. And we all know what we do with consumer goods that cease to satisfy us beyond a point, we get rid of them. In this world of consumer sex, it is socially acceptable to find pleasure with people you don't love. But yes, no one likes to end up feeling used."
Casual sex to reduce boredom
Doctors claim that a session in bed with an unknown face can actually spice up your personal life. Although none would advise it, but the fact remains that it jolts you back out of your boredom and pushes you to being innovative. Says a doctor on condition of anonymity, "I have had patients who find no interest in having sex with their husbands/wives. In fact, they complain of being turned off by the very thought of it. However, a torrid fling outside marriage breathes new life into a sagging relationship with one's spouse. Does it really matter if you get back your stamina and feel good about yourself, even if your spouse was unaware of what went on behind his back?"
A recent study done by the University of Chicago on the sexual lives of adults reveals that housewives bored by their routine look for affairs outside their marriage. In fact, a one-night-stand often reignites the lost spark that may have gotten snuffed out due to marriage and monotony, a la Tabu who played the rebellious wife in the Mahesh Manjrekar's film Astitva.
The real picture
However not all is as hunky dory as you would like to believe. As Mehta puts it, "Sex with no strings attached is a great way to regain your confidence. However, not many people can sustain it. There comes point when you begin to see the worthlessness of the whole enterprise. Despite how much we claim to be liberated, people need a caring relationship all the time. Sex is an act that is over in minutes and cannot ever replace emotions like love and care."
Neerja Tanna (name changed), a journalist, reveals, "I completely believed in casual sex and felt good about it. But there came a point when I began to dread the act. It wasn't the act per se, but the time when it would get over. If the sex wasn't great, it was ok; but when it was exceptionally good, it was difficult to extract myself from that situation. And how do I not look forward to meeting that person again? So in a way I started feeling petrified about having sex with just about anyone."
According to psychologist Suparna Puri, women often get attached while having sex. The hormone Oxytocin or the attachment hormone makes them feel closer to their partner. So she advises, "Be clear about who you want to indulge yourself with". Puri believes it's alright to be daring and adventurous, but warns that the high doesn't last for long. Soon there is a sense of wanting to pull out and starting again.
As Tanna recalls, "I don't believe in casual sex anymore. Because I believe there is more to it than just plain fun. So today I have decided to seek pleasure and adventure in other things. And sex can wait till I get married." Well point taken.
Male power
In this entire cry about women and sex, it seems men are completely pushed away from the limelight. Could the reason be that sex gets easily associated with men and thus requires not much thought? Says Atul Suri,a consultant with an MNC, "A general conception is that men are more interested in sex. However, I think nowadays women are also free spirited while men are becoming conservative. I can indulge in sexual activities with anyone, but I don't want to. My friends of course do, but I think their outlook is changing as well. Today a guy wants to be just a one-woman-man, both physically and mentally."
Explains Puri, "For men it is no longer about sex and affairs. Men today concentrate on developing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. That could also arise from the fact that they are aware that the society is open to men having casual sex, so it isn't a big deal. However for women to do the same there is the pleasure of breaking barriers and also a sense of power. So it's more of women wanting to try out new things and explore areas so far a taboo to them."
The balance though is heavily tilted towards women. And though the freedom of body is a heady feeling, yet there are certain precautions to be kept in mind:
1. Get yourself checked for AIDS and STD frequently if you are indulging in casual sex.
2. Always, always use a condom or other precautions while having sex.
3. Having a one-night-stand is okay as long as you are consciously aware of what you are doing. You don't want to fall into the wrong hands and get beaten up.
4. Steer clear of strangers who you think come across as "weird". It is better to follow your gut than being sorry later.
5. If you are someone who gets carried away emotionally, then such affairs are definitely not for you.
6. Men take heed and check the background of the person you are going out with. You could easily be led to drugs if you don't watch out.
7. If you feel any kind of discomfort physically after an intercourse, see a doctor immediately.
8. Visit a psychiatrist if you think you are going through an emotional vacuum and need help.
9. Speak to friends, family and close ones if you think your loneliness is the reason for you to hunt partners.
10. Believe in love and care because nothing works better than these.
Want to add sizzle to your sex life? Use your tongue! This organ of the body has great potential if used correctly. There are places that can stimulate you and arouse your senses to the peak. The tongue can be a great asset in improving your sex life and can heighten your pleasure ten-fold.
Using a tongue is just another great way to have a passionate kiss. It can be used in unexpected areas to bring in more passionbetween the two. Foreplay is a major factor for great orgasm. If you want to please your man, work your way from below ie, toes to chest. It's the best way to leave him wanting for more even before he knows. Toes are a very sensitive part and shouldn't be avoided. Start with the licking of the toe and then graduate upwards. He will be asking for more that are caused with the help of the tongue.
Man's heart is directly linked to his stomach. All you need to do is work it up the right way. One of the most ignored yet erogenous spot is the naval. This area is highly sensitive. Use your tongue slowly and steady at that area and start licking him on his stomach and naval. And, you see the difference in no time.
The chest is one place where you can experiment. Men are always proud of their chest and making him feel wanted will captivate him. It will make him feel more confident and appreciated. Stimulating his chest with your tongue can create magic inside him.
The neck and ears play a very crucial part. These zones are highly sensitive. Using your tongue in these areas can get it going for you sooner than you think it will.
Just as Osho says, "Be a witness of sex too. Don't be the controller of it. Don't try to forcibly bring it under control, remain a witness of it too. Just as you are a witness of everything else, remain a witness of sex too" It is important to not view it as a bad thing.
A sizzling sex life can be achieved by doing these simple actions. It should be bias free and if your partner likes it, what's the harm?
Some spices can enhance your lustful performance
India is the land of spices and the second-most populous country in the world. Though the two facts sound disarrayed, they are actually linked! Research proves that our sex life gets affected (and spiced up) by some spices.
Fenugreek seeds: Saponins which can be found in fenugreek seeds play a role in increasing the production of testosterone, the male hormones, which, in turn, causes the raise in male libido.
Cardamom: These green wonders increase energy and relieve fatigue, and help you rock your love making process.
Clove: They heat up the body and maybe that's what increases the hotness quotient on bed!
Fennel: Saunf, as they are called in Hindi, contain an estrogen-like substance (estirol) that turns out libido. So careful before you grab a handful of it at a restaurant after dinner.
Ginseng: It helps improve male erectile dysfunction (ED)
Saffron: There's a reason why old Hindi films had saasumas forcing bahus to add saffron to the milk on the first night. And you thought it was just for a fair child!
Nutmeg: It's one of the most popular natural aphrodisiacs. Research proves that nutmeg has the same effect on mating behavior as Viagra. Sprinkle some in your kheer for a dirty night!
Cloves: They boost your energy levels. They also have one of the best aromatherapy scents that help improve your sexual behaviour.
Garlic: Eating green chilies with garlic is an old (tried and tested) way of enjoying sex for a longer period. Peel off its top layers, crush cloves and then fry in butter, and your partner is ready to be a nutter!
Ginger: Garlic's 'g' brother helps you tingle the 'G' spot with ease. It increases sex drive and stimulates sexual performance.
So before you start your performance, hit to the kitchen. Get lusty and spicy!
A herb used to add flavour to Indian curries can also spice up our sex lives, according to a new study.
Researchers found that men taking fenugreekcan boost their sex drive by at least a quarter.
Sixty healthy men aged between 25 and 52 took an extract of the herb twice a day for six weeks.
Their libido levels were monitored using a scoring system to assess any changes after three and six weeks.
Within six weeks, their scores had soared by an average of 16.1 to 20.6, a 28 per cent rise, reports the Daily Mail .
Meanwhile, another group of men taking dummy pills saw their scores fall.
Fenugreek seeds contain compounds called saponins which are thought to stimulate production of male sex hormones including testosterone.
The tests were carried out by researchers from the Centre for Integrative Clinical and Molecular Medicine in Brisbane, Australia, who said: 'This study has demonstrated that there was significant improvement in sexual function and performance following treatment.'
Aanchal Mehra, a management student agrees, "It's not about being promiscuous, but having sex with a stranger can actually lift your mood. It happened with me once when I was going through a very low phase. I went to a friend's party and hooked up with this guy. We had a blast that night and the next day we parted as friends. I felt desirable and wanted once again, and frankly I felt very happy."
The trend is recent and something that picks up from the frantic pace of urban living. Often hectic schedules and lack of socialising leaves one feeling adrift and sidelined. Thus people draw support in whichever form they can or so observes, psychologist Surendra Mehta, Care clinic, "Casual sex is on the rise because of factors like loneliness, peer pressure, living away from one's home. It happens when there's no faith left in oneself. Think of someone who doesn't have a great job or a fulfilling relationship or lacks friends to bail him/her out in times of crisis. It is then that they fall on measures that they assume can lift their spirits for some time. Sex is more like an addiction just as people tend to eat a lot when depressed."
Women don't get carried away
Hollywood too swears by the benefits of casual sexual encounters. Leading actress Cameron Diazfor instance recently stated that there isn't a better way to get back in shape than hitting the sack. Studies too have revealed that women are less likely to regret an impromptu fling, if they feel gratified sexually afterwards. Most women don't equate a romp in the sack with a walk down the aisle. Surveys reveal that over 52 per cent believe their most recent casual encounter to be 'just a one-time thing'.
Says actor/anchor Pooja Bedi, "Having sex with someone you don't love doesn't necessarily mean you are committing a grave sin. The best part of today's society is that it is beginning to accept female sexuality. People have various things to lift their spirits, this is one of them, so be it, and it's human after all to crave for touch. And women, just like men want to enjoy their bodies. So there isn't anything wrong in indulging in casual sex as long as you know where to draw the line."
Manish Singh, a software professional, points out, "I think the key is that everyone wants to matter, especially to their sex partners. We have created a world in which we treat sex as a private recreational activity, with no moral or social significance. But when sex is a recreational activity, my partner becomes equivalent to a consumer good. And we all know what we do with consumer goods that cease to satisfy us beyond a point, we get rid of them. In this world of consumer sex, it is socially acceptable to find pleasure with people you don't love. But yes, no one likes to end up feeling used."
Casual sex to reduce boredom
Doctors claim that a session in bed with an unknown face can actually spice up your personal life. Although none would advise it, but the fact remains that it jolts you back out of your boredom and pushes you to being innovative. Says a doctor on condition of anonymity, "I have had patients who find no interest in having sex with their husbands/wives. In fact, they complain of being turned off by the very thought of it. However, a torrid fling outside marriage breathes new life into a sagging relationship with one's spouse. Does it really matter if you get back your stamina and feel good about yourself, even if your spouse was unaware of what went on behind his back?"
A recent study done by the University of Chicago on the sexual lives of adults reveals that housewives bored by their routine look for affairs outside their marriage. In fact, a one-night-stand often reignites the lost spark that may have gotten snuffed out due to marriage and monotony, a la Tabu who played the rebellious wife in the Mahesh Manjrekar's film Astitva.
The real picture
However not all is as hunky dory as you would like to believe. As Mehta puts it, "Sex with no strings attached is a great way to regain your confidence. However, not many people can sustain it. There comes point when you begin to see the worthlessness of the whole enterprise. Despite how much we claim to be liberated, people need a caring relationship all the time. Sex is an act that is over in minutes and cannot ever replace emotions like love and care."
Neerja Tanna (name changed), a journalist, reveals, "I completely believed in casual sex and felt good about it. But there came a point when I began to dread the act. It wasn't the act per se, but the time when it would get over. If the sex wasn't great, it was ok; but when it was exceptionally good, it was difficult to extract myself from that situation. And how do I not look forward to meeting that person again? So in a way I started feeling petrified about having sex with just about anyone."
According to psychologist Suparna Puri, women often get attached while having sex. The hormone Oxytocin or the attachment hormone makes them feel closer to their partner. So she advises, "Be clear about who you want to indulge yourself with". Puri believes it's alright to be daring and adventurous, but warns that the high doesn't last for long. Soon there is a sense of wanting to pull out and starting again.
As Tanna recalls, "I don't believe in casual sex anymore. Because I believe there is more to it than just plain fun. So today I have decided to seek pleasure and adventure in other things. And sex can wait till I get married." Well point taken.
Male power
In this entire cry about women and sex, it seems men are completely pushed away from the limelight. Could the reason be that sex gets easily associated with men and thus requires not much thought? Says Atul Suri,a consultant with an MNC, "A general conception is that men are more interested in sex. However, I think nowadays women are also free spirited while men are becoming conservative. I can indulge in sexual activities with anyone, but I don't want to. My friends of course do, but I think their outlook is changing as well. Today a guy wants to be just a one-woman-man, both physically and mentally."
Explains Puri, "For men it is no longer about sex and affairs. Men today concentrate on developing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. That could also arise from the fact that they are aware that the society is open to men having casual sex, so it isn't a big deal. However for women to do the same there is the pleasure of breaking barriers and also a sense of power. So it's more of women wanting to try out new things and explore areas so far a taboo to them."
The balance though is heavily tilted towards women. And though the freedom of body is a heady feeling, yet there are certain precautions to be kept in mind:
1. Get yourself checked for AIDS and STD frequently if you are indulging in casual sex.
2. Always, always use a condom or other precautions while having sex.
3. Having a one-night-stand is okay as long as you are consciously aware of what you are doing. You don't want to fall into the wrong hands and get beaten up.
4. Steer clear of strangers who you think come across as "weird". It is better to follow your gut than being sorry later.
5. If you are someone who gets carried away emotionally, then such affairs are definitely not for you.
6. Men take heed and check the background of the person you are going out with. You could easily be led to drugs if you don't watch out.
7. If you feel any kind of discomfort physically after an intercourse, see a doctor immediately.
8. Visit a psychiatrist if you think you are going through an emotional vacuum and need help.
9. Speak to friends, family and close ones if you think your loneliness is the reason for you to hunt partners.
10. Believe in love and care because nothing works better than these.
Want to add sizzle to your sex life? Use your tongue! This organ of the body has great potential if used correctly. There are places that can stimulate you and arouse your senses to the peak. The tongue can be a great asset in improving your sex life and can heighten your pleasure ten-fold.
Using a tongue is just another great way to have a passionate kiss. It can be used in unexpected areas to bring in more passionbetween the two. Foreplay is a major factor for great orgasm. If you want to please your man, work your way from below ie, toes to chest. It's the best way to leave him wanting for more even before he knows. Toes are a very sensitive part and shouldn't be avoided. Start with the licking of the toe and then graduate upwards. He will be asking for more that are caused with the help of the tongue.
Man's heart is directly linked to his stomach. All you need to do is work it up the right way. One of the most ignored yet erogenous spot is the naval. This area is highly sensitive. Use your tongue slowly and steady at that area and start licking him on his stomach and naval. And, you see the difference in no time.
The chest is one place where you can experiment. Men are always proud of their chest and making him feel wanted will captivate him. It will make him feel more confident and appreciated. Stimulating his chest with your tongue can create magic inside him.
The neck and ears play a very crucial part. These zones are highly sensitive. Using your tongue in these areas can get it going for you sooner than you think it will.
Just as Osho says, "Be a witness of sex too. Don't be the controller of it. Don't try to forcibly bring it under control, remain a witness of it too. Just as you are a witness of everything else, remain a witness of sex too" It is important to not view it as a bad thing.
A sizzling sex life can be achieved by doing these simple actions. It should be bias free and if your partner likes it, what's the harm?
Some spices can enhance your lustful performance
India is the land of spices and the second-most populous country in the world. Though the two facts sound disarrayed, they are actually linked! Research proves that our sex life gets affected (and spiced up) by some spices.
Fenugreek seeds: Saponins which can be found in fenugreek seeds play a role in increasing the production of testosterone, the male hormones, which, in turn, causes the raise in male libido.
Cardamom: These green wonders increase energy and relieve fatigue, and help you rock your love making process.
Clove: They heat up the body and maybe that's what increases the hotness quotient on bed!
Fennel: Saunf, as they are called in Hindi, contain an estrogen-like substance (estirol) that turns out libido. So careful before you grab a handful of it at a restaurant after dinner.
Ginseng: It helps improve male erectile dysfunction (ED)
Saffron: There's a reason why old Hindi films had saasumas forcing bahus to add saffron to the milk on the first night. And you thought it was just for a fair child!
Nutmeg: It's one of the most popular natural aphrodisiacs. Research proves that nutmeg has the same effect on mating behavior as Viagra. Sprinkle some in your kheer for a dirty night!
Cloves: They boost your energy levels. They also have one of the best aromatherapy scents that help improve your sexual behaviour.
Garlic: Eating green chilies with garlic is an old (tried and tested) way of enjoying sex for a longer period. Peel off its top layers, crush cloves and then fry in butter, and your partner is ready to be a nutter!
Ginger: Garlic's 'g' brother helps you tingle the 'G' spot with ease. It increases sex drive and stimulates sexual performance.
So before you start your performance, hit to the kitchen. Get lusty and spicy!
A herb used to add flavour to Indian curries can also spice up our sex lives, according to a new study.
Researchers found that men taking fenugreekcan boost their sex drive by at least a quarter.
Sixty healthy men aged between 25 and 52 took an extract of the herb twice a day for six weeks.
Their libido levels were monitored using a scoring system to assess any changes after three and six weeks.
Within six weeks, their scores had soared by an average of 16.1 to 20.6, a 28 per cent rise, reports the Daily Mail .
Meanwhile, another group of men taking dummy pills saw their scores fall.
Fenugreek seeds contain compounds called saponins which are thought to stimulate production of male sex hormones including testosterone.
The tests were carried out by researchers from the Centre for Integrative Clinical and Molecular Medicine in Brisbane, Australia, who said: 'This study has demonstrated that there was significant improvement in sexual function and performance following treatment.'
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