A study has revealed that millions of womenconsume alcohol before having sex because they lack confidence in their bodies.
In the survey of 3000 women aged 18-50, almost half of those quizzed said they preferred sex while under the influence of alcohol because it helped them lose their inhibitions and be more adventurous.
Researchers found on average they slept with eight men, but were drunk with at least five, and on two occasions couldn't remember the man's name the next day.
Four out of 10 had been tipsy when sleeping with a partner for the first time.
The study revealed that 75 per cent of women liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend, and 6 per cent had never had sex sober.
More than half claimed drinking with a prospective partner was 'part of the dating process' so were a bit drunk when they had sex.
It also revealed 14 per cent of women in a relationship can't sleep with their partner without a couple of glasses of wine beforehand.
Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh, which conducted the study, said the findings proved women lacked confidence.
"The fact alcohol plays an integral role in their love lives shows that women are looking for a boost in self-esteem when it comes to their bedroom antics," the Courier Mail quoted her as saying.
"But in doing so many women will be losing self-control, and this is when drunken one-night stands are more likely to occur," she added.
With more men spending time with their gadgets than enjoying with their better halves, tech tools are the new culprits of wreckedrelationships today, finds Ismat Tahseen.
Finally we got our hands on the Britney Spears sex tape. First Kevin Federline anounce that there is a tape, then Britney says that there is a tape, then she denies. And these tapes are leaked. Is it Britney Spears giving blowjob? Are both tapes real or is only one real? Take a look and decide for yourself! Download Britney Spears porn tape for $1 USD only Click Here Now!
“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship. They did absolutely nothing all day but have sex. Britney didn’t think twice about making the video at the time she believed that their love would last forever. They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameras, and sex was no different to them. Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands for child custody and $30milion otherwise the whole world will see Britney Spears having sex.
Theatre person Raell Padamsee is certainly not going to repeat the mistake that she recently made, with her boyfriend of three years. One that caused much consternation and that she regretted immediately. And no, it had nothing to do with an argument over what to do on a weekend. All she did was buy him a Blackberry. "He was constantly glued to it," reveals Raell. "At times, he would answer mails and chats even when we were together and it was awful."
Now, if you're already empathising with her, join the league of so many dejected women today, who've become cyber widows!
Wedded to his gadget?
For married couples, a virtual seductress can cause great havoc in their relationships, bringing about distrust and negativity. In most cases, it's the women who feel the brunt of it and this brings about misgivings. Like model Dipannita Sharma feels of her husband Dilsher Singh Atwal's penchant for games. "I hate videogames with a vengeance," she declares. "While I'm talking to him, he's trying to get to the next gaming level - it's frustrating," she says.
Bedroom dynamics change
It's ironical that on one level technology keeps us connected with the world, but it is also isolating people from their partners. And the greatest im pact of this social syndrome is on coupletime together - causing emotional and social intimacy to take a backseat.
"An increasing number of separations today are triggered by this," divulges psychologist Dr Varkha Chulani. "Social networking sites can be very taxing as they demand an exhausting emotional involvement. And, at the end of the day, we all have limited energies. Hence, after a man is emotionally drained elsewhere, he has little energy or inclination for his partner's company. Plus, the bedroom can become a hotbed for couples' quarrels. The man may not try and resolve things, but simply use his laptop as an excuse and escape the real world that he should be facing. For couples who are already on the breakpoint, this is the final nail in their coffin," she adds.
Reason for divorces?
The seemingly harmless parley can play devil when the situation goes out of control as celebrity divorce lawyer Mrunalini Deshmukh tells us. "Networking tools such as Facebook are responsible for at least a 20-30 per cent rise in divorce cases today. In the last three months itself, many couples whose marriages are on the rocks have come to me due to this. While the men refuse to believe they might be causing harm with their 'attachment' to their gizmos, it is the women who are worried sick about it all. Also, in newly-married couples, there are cases of simple chats with an ex-partner that becomes a flirtatious relationship and causes mayhem. Many men are watching porn sites to such an extent that it creates havoc in their married life."
Cyber widower too!
But men can be at the receiving end of this syndrome too. TV host and actor Cyrus Broacha remarks lightheartedly how wife Ayesha constantly plays Scrabble with her sister in the US. "Now, there is a TV in the room and she has her games on the phone. I'm completely redundant in her life; something like what a married man should feel like after 10 years," he grins.
Is there a crtl+alt+z?
Not really, but victims and experts show a way out. "One can make rules like making sure one leaves a gadget out of the room," says Raell. While model Sharma has learnt to live with being a cyber widow to keep the peace at home, Barkha Sharma, wife of santoor maestro Rahul Sharma says when he gets involved with his phone or creates music on his laptop, she uses the situation for some 'self-time'. "No sense competing with a machine," she sighs.
Actor Celina Jaitly also agrees it can be a little bugging if the guy constantly looks into his networking sites. "This is totally unchivalrous. But if it's a onetime office emergency, the gentleman 'can' be pardoned as long as he can make up for it," she smiles.
In conclusion, Chulani offers a few tips. "For one, some conditions must be laid down, so people realise they must draw the line somewhere. They need to look at leisure time differently. I feel men who can't stay away from their gadgets are not at ease with themselves and need to feel distracted. They pretend to feel this grandiosity - that they are all important and therefore must be in all places at one time - that needs to change," she states.
With all the planning I'm doing for the wedding, I haven't given any thought to the "consummation" part. Any tips for a steamy wedding night? -- Adriana, Riverside, California.
Let me set my lapsang souchong down so I don't burn my fingers when I bang my fist on the table for emphasis: No one has sex on their wedding night.
Yes, I get it, you sprung for the La Perla wedding lingerie with the garter belt and stirrups that make your legs look all long. And you've been doing Pilates like a maniac for the last six months so when you look back at your wedding photos in thirty years, your daughter will say something nice about your core strength before zipping off on a hover skateboard with that boy you don't like.
And above all, you think you should have sex on your wedding night because everyone has sex on their wedding night. Except here's the thing: no one has sex on their wedding night. Maybe put that in your super-detailed spreadsheet between the hours of 1 AM and 2 AM: "Not having sex with Cody."
Instead, you should enter: "Passing the eff out in my wedding dress on top of the covers, while Cody pukes in the bathroom, then uses my $600 shoes, some wilted hydrangeas and a sweaty crumple of checks as a pillow."
(By the way, Cody seems like a great guy. Mazal tov to you both. Hydrangeas? Understated and seasonable. Nice work.)
Here's the bottom line: you've been standing for six hours, you haven't eaten anything but a mini-quiche in ten hours, and laugh-crying consumes three times the number of calories as laughing or crying alone. You're exhausted. He's so drunk he's singing "Wonderwall" into the porcelain bowl. Do you really want to consummate that? You have brunch in six hours -- and I don't want to kill the mood here, but this really will be the last time you're gonna see Aunt Fern alive. Forgive yourself and go to sleep.
One more thing: The boy that your future daughter is seeing? He reminds me a lot of Cody at that age.
And pack that garter belt on the honeymoon. That shit's hot.
My wedding's semi-formal, but I was thinking of rocking a tux. Is that weird? -- Dave, Lincoln, Nebraska.
Yes, that is weird, but not because you're going to look different than your guests. Do I need to remind you that your date that night is going as the bride? This is why your question is weird: it is not up to you what you wear to your wedding. It is up to her and her alone. You are a prop, groom. You are collateral damage. You do nothing but provide visual context for the future Mrs. You.
"I was thinking of rocking a tux?" More like "Meh meh meh meh fart meh."
Don't think. Obey.
Alright fine, you can pick out your socks. But if they have a little preppy animals on them or a goddamn sports logo, I will come after you.
I've been a bridesmaid three times. Will I ever be a bride? -- Lara, Duluth, Minnesota.
Doubtful. You've committed a potentially fatal error: demonstrating a strong capacity for female friendship. These brides must really appreciate your loyalty, organizational skills, grooming and good manners. But you know what they really appreciate? The fact that you sat on the sidelines while they were out getting the good ones, the ones you probably wanted, the ones with kinda okay abs and minimal bacne who work in industries unaffected by the recession.
You were too busy remembering birthdays to compete for those scarce and hard-won resources. Your consolation prize? Holding a small bouquet in a lime green dress trying hard not to faint while you smile through severe ankle and knee pain.
Do not walk. Run from this responsibility and into the arms of the five remaining remotely eligible bachelors in your time zone. (I'd say take a cab, but you already spent all your money on the Napa Valley girls weekend where you were volunteered to be designated driver).
You are not on this earth to make friends. You are here to win. And those bachelors? The pool's already down to four.
Are you being 'brutally honest' with your partner? Well, here are some of the truths that most of couples prefer keeping under wraps. From ages we have been told to stick to one fact - be 'brutally honest' with your partner in all aspects of life.
However, do we all follow that golden rule? Before you start feeling guilty, allow me to tell you that you are not the only one living with white lies in your relationship. The place where people feel most comfortable lying is their bedroom.
If women lie about their vital stats, men also fudge about the numerous sex partners they have had. May be it helps them in keeping the romance alive in their den. So here are some of the truths that most of the people prefer keeping under the wraps.
Fake it!
From once in a while to all the time, most couples fake an orgasm to avoid upsetting their partner. This is pretty common among the fairer sex.
Revati Prasad, who works with a Noida- based MNC says, "Like all other girls, I spoke at length about lovemaking with my friends before getting married. But when it came to practicing it, I literally got cold feet. It's been eight months, but it's rare that I reach an orgasm. I find intercourse a painful act. Because of hesitation and the fear of rejection, I keep mum. I think it would affect my husband's ego if I tell him that he fails to satisfy me."
Dr Sanjay Chugh, a psychiatrist suggests, "At times men also fake an orgasm, but it's mainly a female dominated phenomenon. There can be several reasons like guilt, fear of getting pregnant, no desirability for the partner or painful intercourse. Not necessarily you reach the big 'O' all the time, but faking it for long to save your partner from embarrassment is not the right thing to do in bed. Talking about the issue frankly will certainly help."
I forgot the count
Most of the men consider women as extremely possessive beings. Therefore, they generally manipulate the number of women they have shared 'good' times with.
Rakesh Aggarwal, a marketing executive tells, "No women love competition, therefore I make no effort to bother my girls. It's my ninth affair in four years, but I think I am really serious this time. She is my colleague in office. She does know that I am not a virgin, but I am in no mood to tell her that I have made love to almost half a dozen women."
Dr Kamal Khurana, a relationship expert says, "It's not only about women, men also don't think highly of women who have had several sex partners in their past. This is the main factor why people prefer to lie about their ex partners. It's definitely a personal choice, but keeping your partner in the absolute dark is unfair. If not completely, try to share some of details of your past with your mate."
It was fun honey!
You were in between the act and your partner pushed you to try a new position. You found it awkward and it wasn't that pleasurable too. Still you preferred to say, 'it was great'. Many people can relate to this situation.
Reema Sinha, a content writer reveals, "Me and my guy were on a weekend break. I was really looking forward to some rocking action in bed. It was all going good before I found myself in a funny position. I think he was enjoying our new sex position, but I burst out into laughter, and my man was very disturbed seeing my reaction. So, I decided that I will let him experiment the way he wants."
Dr Sanjay Chugh explains, "It's a great thing to try out new ways to attain a high point with your partner in bed. Nobody likes to stick to a monotonous sex routine for too long. But you need to be considerate towards you partner's comfort too. Keep in mind that it becomes difficult for women to attain the big 'O' in certain positions."
Sizeable issues
Who goes to bed with a measuring tape in hand? And that makes it easy for everybody to boast about their vital stats.
Chitra Rawat, a media person says, "Men simply adore women who are blessed with a nice cleavage and my boyfriend is no different. Thanks to all the inventions in terms of lingerie, it is easier to look a size bigger. I think it's fair enough to misguide him this much, if it gives him a sexual high. The only problem I face is, I can't go for lingerie shopping with him."
"Most of the men have a fascination for women with fuller figures. And if you know how to take advantage, than there is nothing like it. At times men also brag about their size. It's better not to make claims that you may not be able to sustain for long. It may cause embarrassment to both of you," tells Dr Khurana.
Virginity values...
Virginity still seems to be a big deal when it comes to marriage. No matter how modern people claim to be, they still want a virgin while getting married.
Suparna Gupta, an architect confesses, "I have been in an intense relationship in my past, because of his family issues we couldn't take it forward. Now I am getting married to another guy. With my sexual behavior, he might get to know that I am not a virgin. Therefore I plan to act extra cautious, I cannot afford to ruin my future because of my past. Sometimes I wonder, is it really a big deal."
"It's certainly not an uncommon situation. We live in a modern society and pre-marital sex is not an alien term now. However, it's still a hush-hush issue. So if you think your partner will not be able to digest the truth about your past, then it's better to keep it to yourself. Still it's always advisable that if you have had a sexual relationship, you should go for a medical check up before you tie the knot," Dr Chugh concludes.
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