“The roots of sexism and homophobia are found in the same economic and political institutions that serve as the foundation of racism in this country.” -Professor Angela Y. Davis (Women, Culture and Politics) “You don’t have to live next to me! Just give me my equality!” -Nina Simone (“Mississippi Goddam”) Hi Lt. Governor Carroll, It’s been a long week, yes? Wow. Well, I’m sure you’ve heard by now what’s been going on but let me introduce myself. My name is Doria Roberts and I’m the person who started the activist hashtag #ThisIsWhatALesbianLooksLike in response to your comment about what black lesbians don’t look like — namely you. First, I want to say that it was not my intention to shame you and that I want (very badly) to give you the benefit of the doubt. I can’t imagine having to defend myself against charges of adultery when I knew myself to be innocent. My wife is my life and anything challenging or questioning my commitment to her or the foundation of our marriage would send me grasping for any and all lifeboats to assure her that I value our union above all. Now, I’m generally a forgiving person and I know I don’t have access to my best self every minute of every day, so I can understand how some of the things you said may have been said under duress as opposed to a deep-seated, polarizing and misguided hate for a group of people you don’t even know. I mean, Peter denied Jesus three times. And that was Jesus! But as I’ve said, I could only understand some of the things you said. Please do not confuse my compassion with acceptance. When I heard the quote “Black women who look like me don’t usually engage in those type of relationships (meaning lesbian relationships)” attributed to you as a defense, my first and only thought was “No.” Really, just that. No. I wasn’t going to allow yet another public figure to offer my life up as a whipping post to absorb their public flogging — especially one who looked like me. Yes, despite what you think, Lt. Gov. Carroll, you do look like me. But more on that later… When the hashtag started to pick up some steam, I reached out to my own fan base to contribute to the dialogue but implored them not to bash you. I asked them to use their activism and channel their outrage as a “teachable” moment for you and others like you who now will (hopefully) think twice before throwing others in the line of fire to advance their political and/or professional agendas. After awhile though, I stopped thinking about you (and others like you) and I began to focus instead on the hundreds of smiling faces I was being introduced to through this entirely serendipitous post. All beautiful, all happy. I started thinking about me and my wife and how, as an interracial lesbian couple living in the southeastern United States, we face the unknowable every day. And, though we are nowhere near the top of the social food chain, we manage to run a successful business together. I’m also musician who travels internationally so there is no option for us to stay inside and hide when things get rough. We do this, as much as we can, with smiles on our faces. Some days those smiles are hard won, sometimes they don’t come at all and some days they come as easy as sunrise despite the fact that we live in a world where it is thought to be a risk to be who we are and an act of courage to simply claim it. Okay. That said, let’s get to the real talk… First, a little quiz. Of the following four names, which one(s) do you recognize and what is the link between them? Sakia Gunn Shani Baraka Rayshon Holmes Matthew Shepard readmore http://muslimjournalmalaysia.blogspot.com/2012/07/gay-marriage-it-is-personalthis-is-what.html
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